Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim 5/3/2025

I am on my laptop the morning after R^3 given I haven't been able to sleep at all from CNS / whole body being fried. This was a pretty emotional effort for me, so thought I'd get some thoughts on paper while fresh (edit: further continued throughout the following week).

Backdrop: Brian Buell, a friend & runner, that I have such major respect for called this out in a running sheet he shared with me last summer as a major bucket list item. I was aware of it, but not all that overly interested until in early January, Taylor mentioned that it'd be really cool to go for it in May (same time she did it the year prior). We ended up locking it in for Cinco de Mayo weekend with the thought that the margarita after, would be the best tasting margarita of all time. This actually led to us discussing, "What if this was the first margarita we have all year?" to "What if this is the first drink we have of the year?" We both committed and haven't drank in 2025 - it's been so great. 

I started reaching out to some friends to go for it that weekend, Brian being one of the first. Brian is getting married this year & has an insane travel schedule for other friends' weddings, so I knew it would really be tough for him to swing. Right when I asked him about it, I could tell lightbulbs full of excitement were going off. He went back n forth, analyzing the viability to eventually commit and could not have expressed more excitement for the effort. Verbatim, he noted that this was singlehandedly making his year given he previously didn't have any races or big objectives scheduled given his busy wedding schedule, let alone his own wedding! R^3 would be the effort for him this year. It made me that much more excited. I couldn't wait to share a major effort with someone I respect so much. 

Stephen jumped on board pretty immediately too as part of my initial outreach. It was pretty admirable seeing him not only accomplish, but absolutely destroy a very meaningful sub-3 hr marathon goal (with a time of 2:49) and still being fully game for R^3 coming off a strong marathon block. This was going to be Stephen's first trail run of the year.

Leadup (no need to belabor the points, but just want to lay it out for my memory):

• Take off Fri AM
• Arrive in PHX // Drive to GC Village
• Get to GC Village
• Shakeout Run where Stephen and I had a fantastic & deep convo, resulting in us overshooting the duration
• Hot tuuuuub
• Dinner with Taylor, Stephen: Pasta + Ice Cream
• Ice cream did NOT feel good on my stomach, such a good reminder to not try anything new for important efforts, but how on earth am I going to resist two scoops of Cookie Monster & Cookies n' Cream! 
• Drive to S Rim Overlook: 
• I was absolutely mind blown here and in awe at the monstrosity. I simply couldn't wrap my head around the fact that we were going "all the way down there?!?!"

• Come back to hotel, Brian arrives, make PB&Js w/ seemingly concrete almond butter, gear layout
• Pretty anti-climactic exit/ending; Brian & Stephen leave to go back to their hotel
• Lights out 7:30 pm 

5/3/2025: 

2:45 AM: Alarm goes off. The night before, Taylor and I found this alarm ring tone that was absolutely hilarious. We wake up in really good spirits and of course Taylor is the first one out of bed, telling me to get up for MY effort (Taylor is notoriously way better at early mornings than I am). We start moving around and getting dressed, start double checking pack, etc. I think from a fly on the wall view, it seemed to be a pretty calm & low key morning, but internally I was really nervous. I was freezing cold and nervously eating my breakfast. Not hungry, just using it to comfort nerves. 

3:33 AM: Pickup Brian & Stephen from their hotel across the street. Both are in great spirits and ready to go. Stephen and I are passing our gallon of cold brew back n forth on the way there. All of us were laughing about the ridiculousness of the notion we all agreed to: "no poles, sub nosestrip" given basically every single person that does R^3 undoubtedly brings hiking poles. Brian really led the charge on this idea, to which I jumped on given my recent enthrallment with nose strips (and all related superpowers to which poles would not be necessary) and Stephen was kind of stuck with no other option as he couldn't be the guy that brought poles amongst us two. Taylor drives us straight up to the TH (usually you have to park a ~15 min walk away) and we get out to start getting everything finalized and warm up. And by warm up, I mean I am the only one that warms up...and consistently get so much shit for it. 

Everyone does the final check, we line up at the TH sign to get a starting picture by Taylor, then she pulls out. We all look at each other, confirm watches are ready to go. 3-2-1 GO!

4:01 AM: We start. We take off down into the canyon, pitch black, headlamps on. Being from AZ, Stephen had been to the Grand Canyon before and we both had just seen a viewpoint the day before. Brian was in an interesting position, he had no idea what he was descending. It was an absolute monstrosity.

The trail itself was quite bizarre, you literally run maybe 30 yards flat from the trailhead signage and then begin hammering switchbacks. The trail quickly becomes quite technical from the heavy human & animal traffic as well as the steps. There are potholes everywhere and oddly spaced steps forcing a descending runner to very diligently gallop down the mountain rather than a full downhill bomb typical to non-technical terrain.

Temperature was also interesting. We had been following the forecast the week before and it was expected to be quite cold in the canyon with a high chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon. It was cold at the trailhead; however, right when we began our descent, the weather seemingly immediately changed. We were entering a different world. It was hot, almost stuffy. Stephen and I started with our Melanzana’s on and immediately regretted the decision. I had to stop within 10 or so minutes to take it & my gloves off, I was already dripping in sweat.

We continued the descent, all of us in great spirits, Stephen noting how much he missed his Alpha Flys (coming off his marathon and big, related road running training block), each of us trying to decipher all the unknown amongst the darkness and letting our imaginations run wild of what could be just off the ledges.

I maintained what felt like a smooth downhill. Not too hard, but not actively holding back. I knew what a strong downhill could do to the rest of a run…I absolutely smoked a downhill segment while running Mt Falcon the weekend before with Brian and paid for it throughout the rest of the route. Our splits were completely misaligned with how fast we felt we were going given the technicality, clocking 9-11+ minute miles with what felt like unquestionably sub-8.

I started taking off a bit faster, to kind of do my own thing up front down to the first water station at the Colorado River right before Phantom Ranch.

Approaching Colorado River

~5:10 AM: S Kaibab descent time: 1 hr 10, we thought that was pretty decent! I was a bit nervous coming off the last mile or so with how strained my quads already felt this early in. Nothing concerning, but given we had 36 mi left with >10k ft of vert to cover, it made me think…

I take my pack off to begin refilling my water. At this point, I decided to filter everything. So filled the filtered bottle and then would squeeze the filtered water into my other two flasks. Stephen and Brian came shortly after I arrived and began to do the same. I was clearly trying to move quick and was probably a bit pushy once I was set to go that I wanted to hit the road. Stephen bluntly replied to my comment of wanting to take off, that “dude, this will take two minutes, just pause your watch”…good reality check, but I was there to do one thing: complete R^3 in under 10 hours and I knew every second counted. I decided to wait.

Once we were ready to go, I was ready to go. I was not there to stay in Z2. I wanted to push right out of the gates. I set the pace at a comfortable Z3. I stayed pretty locked in here until my stomach began giving me some discomfort which was atypical this early on. I stopped to reset and search for a five hour energy, take a bite of my sandwich and keep moving. Brian & Stephen caught up with me as I was digging around my pack, stopped for a moment, and then kept going.

After resetting, I felt really good. I continued to push up towards N Kaibab reaching the Cottonwood Campground. I stopped as I was low on water at this point and really wanted to stay on top of this early on. After about 2-3 minutes of unpacking everything, dumping out my water w/ DripDrop as I hypothesized this was what was messing with my stomach, refilling the bottle, etc. I went to turn on the faucet…and…NOTHING. We all completely forgot to check the running water along the route. A table stakes pre-req for R^3 that we completely missed. Whatever!

"Flat" section of R^3 headed towards N Rim (2nd & 3rd images are lookbacks)

I continue running up and come across an individual, Jason, who I was starting to ping pong back n forth with asking him where the next water source was, to which he replies "Manzanita." We continue moving up to reach Manzanita. I quickly stop, chug water, refill flasks, go.

Manzanita essentially kicks off the climb to N Kaibab TH. It was absolutely beautiful, but man it was hard. I was able to start the climb running a decent bit, but I eventually succumbed to a hike. At this moment, I was really starting to think about the luxury of having poles…oh well, had the nose strip.

I continue charging up and finally just had to stop to reset. I sit down for a few minutes to regain my composure and eat a decent bit of my PB&J. I think I may have taken another ½ sip of my 5 hr energy here too. On paper, this probably seemed like a waste of time, but it was really necessary for me.

Perhaps 10 minutes after this stop, I am continuing to trudge uphill and I hear Brian coming up behind me! I was stoked to see him, but even moreso, just beyond impressed! I knew that I had likely put some decent time on him and Stephen on the “flats,” so for him to catch me on the climb meant he was moving and feeling good!

We initially acknowledged each other when he was about a switch back and a half back. That eventually closed to one switch back to half a switch back to next to each other. We exchanged a few words, but there really wasn’t much to say. The more important objective was just getting up this canyon! Brian continued moving up the canyon ahead of me via a strong power hike / run combo. I tried to keep pace with him for a little bit, but ultimately just didn’t have it in me. Thankfully, we come up on the trailhead MUCH sooner than I expect! What a pleasant surprise.

Going up N Rim was stunning & so different from the landscape of S Rim

~8:45 AM: I look down at my watch, 4:45 moving time for N Kaibab TH. My feeling on this time was fairly neutral. I estimated that in order to have a chance at going sub-10, I would have to get to N Kaibab in 4 hrs given the treacherous S Kaibab climb that would likely eat a ton of time. However, 4:45 did not count us out by any stretch.

Once at the top, Brian and I both begin searching for the water spicket. We quickly discovered from some thru hikers that water was not running up there. However, that there was water about 0.3 mi up a dirt road at a campground. Brian and I both agreed that it was worth it to grab more water at this point, given we were really starting to get to the inflection point of hydrated vs dehydrated.

We begin walking up the snow covered road, slipping everywhere and unable to maintain good footing. Brian eventually calls it and reminds me that Manzanita is probably only 5-6 downhill miles away. The lightbulb goes off in my head that that is totally manageable and this is just wasting time. I walk down a bit, hop the snow bank, take off my pack and just lay in it. I take snow with both hands and just rub it all over my face and body. It felt so so good. I take out my bandana and fill it with as much as snow as I could to wrap around my neck.

After the snow angel session, I felt fantastic and was ready to go. Brian noted he needed a second to sit down, eat some of his sandwich and check in with his fiancé. I told him I’d see him down there. I take off downhill for a few minutes and then stop. I had some onset of a bit of pain throughout different areas and just decided to get proactive and start popping ibuprofen. I took one ibuprofen and for whatever reason, it just got me right.

I continued to take off downhill and felt absolutely incredible. Everything felt incredible. Every footstep landed in the perfect spot. I was in a total flow state. I see Stephen on the way down, start passing a ton of other R2R2R folks making the ascent up and each passing is fueled with mutual enthusiasm for each other’s efforts. I get to Manzanita and didn’t want to stop at all, but obviously had to. I stop, immediately turn the fountain on to fill up my bottles and immediately chug to empty. I did this 3 or so times I was so thirsty. At this point, I didn’t care about filtering, I could actively taste the dirt in the water and couldn’t care less. I quickly begin searching my pack for Cherry Lime Gatorade powder, my deemed savior at that point, and begin refilling my bottles as quickly as possible. I stuff the two 500 mLs full of Watermelon & Cherry Lime Gatorade, respectively, in each pocket. I take the filter bottle of water in my hand.

I take off and continue my previous momentum as if I didn’t skip a beat. I could not get over how good I felt. I hit the “flats” and just continue charging. Total flow state. I wanted to scream at the top of lungs (& did a few times) at how good I felt. Leadville was the last “big” running effort I had done and I was in so much pain for so so so long. I couldn’t run a lot of that race and got through it via pure grit & mental strength, nothing else. I was admittedly nervous that something like that could happen here, but low & behold I was 25 miles in and felt as fresh as a spring chicken!

I continue running deeper into the canyon, when I start entering a seemingly low point. I begin to lose interest in the monotony of the run. The terrain was fantastic, but it was just monotonous. I felt great, but the feeling was monotonous. It was so weird. Like everything was so perfect, but the fact that it was so consistent and SO much of the same, turned me off. I began to get into a weird headspace. I stopped to take two Tums and ½ a 5 hr energy.

I felt better physically, but mentally still weird. I come up on a guy who was shirtless and who I thought was talking in sign language, but really he was trying to get my attention and ask me a question. I had to continue running. I ran past him saying, "I am sorry, but I have to keep going." He cursed at me as I passed and I felt regretful, but I couldn’t engage with him, I had to stay focused.

I came up on another group of thru hikers and one of them looked at me with an extremely animated, evil character type face and just said, “That run you’re doing? It’s buuuuuuuuuuuuuullshit. Haha! Have a great day, man!” I started thinking... Am I tripping? Am I losing my mind? What is going on? I hadn’t been SUPER on my calories, but there’s no way I could possibly be hallucinating this early on into an effort? Or could there be? Am I going the right way? Everything looks the same, am I sure I’m going to S Kaibab? Or am I going to N Kaibab? What is going on?

I just focus on the thought of getting to Phantom Ranch. I go heads down and just focus on that. I see a sign for “Phantom Ranch ¾ Mile”…yes.

I run up to Phantom looking for water. I ask a camper and he instructs me to go up and to the right to the actual storefront. I pace around anxiously trying to search for water outside and can’t find anything. I go inside, asking for drinkable water and the cashier calmly instructs me that it’s right out front. I find the fountain that was seemingly staring me right in the face and continue drinking profusely as I did at Manzanita. I refill each of my flasks, partially bathe, soak my bandana and take off again.

Phantom Ranch, water refill station to the left where guy is soaking his hat

I run up to the first water source from the day a couple hundred yards up from Phantom, right at the base of the river & debate whether or not I want to take my headlamp back up (Stephen and I left our headlamps here in the AM). Stupid debate, I was being ridiculous, I grab it. Partially refill my water only bottle and begin the known, most treacherous “man-making” part of the day, the S Rim climb.

Few pics from very bottom of S Rim side of canyon before the ascent

I started out STRONG. I was running up everything in the beginning, just feeling juiced and ready to go. Running stopped and I confidently switched to a very strong hike. I was not disillusioned on the mileage to go (~6 miles). I knew that I had at least two hours on this climb. Breaking down the math, I knew that 3 mph w/ 1,000 ft of gain per mile 36 miles into the effort was ambitious; however, I could wrap my head around the logic and knew that all I had to was simply execute. Each mile felt like a lifetime, not just of time, but of pure emotion and everything accompanying. I’m not one to check my watch often, but I could not stop looking down to see where I was. I was trying to break everything down by mile, then half mile, then quarter mile. I was playing every mind game I had in the book with myself.

Lookback at the beginning of S Rim climb

As I get about 2 miles up, the clouds begin to clear and I enter completely sun-exposed canyon.

I continue trudging along, diligently watching the pace on my watch to ensure 20 min / mi pace.

My mind starts going wild. I ask myself, “why am I doing this to myself?” A thought I haven’t had in a very very long time. I’ve always thought of every endurance effort as a real privilege and that self-pity really has no place in these undertakings. I chose to be here. This wasn’t self-pity though, it was questioning my why. I began my endurance journey to run from a person and a lifestyle that I was so ashamed of. I viewed the training required for big endurance events to be a way of forcing accountability on my lifestyle. During big efforts, it’s always been motivating to remind myself that I never want to go back to being that person and that I will do anything to i) escape that person and ii) get closer to the person, I identified at the time, I wanted to be. But I began questioning, is that really the person I want to be now? The person that consistently does the hardest physical shit of all time? The person that is an absolute savage? I don’t know at this moment. I am so far from that old person. My life is so great, so different in almost every aspect. It’s so far away it almost doesn’t even feel relatable at this point. I started the endurance thing as a means to an end…escape. And I have successfully escaped. So what’s the point now of continuing all of this? Can’t I just live a normal life now?

I start thinking to my grandfather and the gold bull skeleton head belt buckle he gave me last Thanksgiving, which has been really symbolic to me as a sense of power. I start thinking to everything he has battled. He has beaten colon cancer a number of times now, never giving up. I’ve seen day to day be so painful for him and first I was almost upset with him given the inconveniences it can cause, now I have so much empathy…I just simply can’t believe what you’ve been through. Having your intestines’ removed & tied up into an internal pretzel multiple times, want to talk about real pain? My grandfather recently got into an accident where he went off a ~5 foot drop into a marsh in his golf cart and ended up getting stuck under the cart. My grandmother had to finagle her way out from underneath him, exiting the back opening of the golf cart to escape and call 911. He laid there for I don’t know how long, completely helpless. I just can’t imagine that kind of pain & state of helplessness. Barely being able to breathe & stuck with the sun beating down on you.

I start thinking to Taylor, my girlfriend, she isn’t running R^3 today because of a hip injury, but has been the most supportive partner I could ever ask for. She still flew out to the Grand Canyon, woke up at 2:45 am to drive us to the TH, and I knew would be there when I finished. She DNF’d Eugene Marathon the weekend before due to the injury and I just remember her saying and gaining comfort in the affirmation that she would never quit anything just because it was hard. But that she had to quit because of this kind of pain (which FWIW ultimately was diagnosed as a stress fracture in her hip, chipped bone and torn labrum…she was running the whole week leading up to the DNF…yeah, my girlfriend is tough as nails). I start thinking to the past week seeing her limp around in so much pain, but doing her absolute best to not let it show at all. She has been so positive about the whole thing. I know that she would do anything to feel the discomfort I was feeling in that moment. I start focusing in so much on the pain she was dealing with, how tough she is, how much I admire and love her. All I wanted to do was get to the top to see her.

The combination of thoughts between her and my grandfather just broke me down emotionally. I continue trudging a long, just an absolute mess.

I continue moving along, slowly but surely, really just unsure of what my strategy is. My stomach was not feeling good, but it wasn’t apparent what the solution was going to be. All I wanted was clean, pure, cold water, to lay down, and to cool down. None of these things could happen where I was. I begin promising myself that I can stop every ½ mile. I started trying to push the time limits here as much as possible, but it became unbearable. I began stopping between these ½ mile segments, hands on knees on trail just to regain my composure. I began holding onto the walls, occasionally pausing just to get a few seconds of down time.

I anxiously begin to count down the distance to 42.0 miles as I knew the trek to N Kaibab TH was 21.0 on the dot. I knowingly knew I had an extra 0.2 or so given Brian and I’s quick search for water past the TH. But I had to get to 42. Get to 42!

I was in self-perceived, terrible shape. I quickly approach the last big turn around the canyon and look up with a strong hypothesis that the top of “this” had to be the top of the TH and the end of this excruciating climb. Between me and the end was of course an absolute monster set of switchbacks going straight up.

From nps.gov, a relative view of the last set of switchbacks to make it up to S Kaibab TH

I reach the bottom of the switchbacks, holding onto the side and check my watch to see that it was 1:47 PM. I have 13 minutes to make it up this and go sub-10. Can I actually do this? I really had no idea.

I begin charging up strong, passing other folks around me. To my surprise, this actually wasn't all that bad! The grade was fairly manageable and the short nature of each individual switchback allowed me to stack up tiny wins. 

I start getting closer and closer to the top with my anticipation building! I am so close! Sure enough, I see Taylor right there at the top, cheering me on for the final stretch. I don't think I've ever been more excited to see her. I run the final switchback, passing her, and telling her I want to hit the S Kaibab TH and finish this thing. I run to the TH. Slowly walk over to a shaded area and lay down. I am finished, with nothing left.

Taylor comes over to me, telling me in a calm, low, and sweet voice, "I'm so proud of you." These five simple words mean so much to me coming from her and have only been delivered after Leadville & Cottonwood Crusher, two big efforts. 

All I want at this point is cold, plain water and to cool off. Taylor gets me water and I simultaneously bathe & drink profusely while laying down. Lather, rinse, repeat again and then I go back to solely laying. I didn't have much to say. Mentally I was drained. I had been so focused for almost ten hours and never let my mental game slip. We move to another shaded area given a waste vehicle decided to arrive at the exact time to empty the bathrooms 😂

Upon laying down again, I absolutely break down. I have never broken down this hard in my life, let alone in front of someone else. I am absolutely & entirely consumed with the simultaneous pain & empathy of thinking back to my grandfather's & Taylor's hardships. It wrenched my heart more than anything I've ever experienced...I just felt so bad, not guilty, just empathetic and so heartbroken by what they are dealing and have dealt with. I uncontrollably bawled my eyes out for nearly 10 minutes and finally was able to pull it together. 

This is a moment that I will never forget and is such an important side effect of doing these big efforts. It strips me down to my core. It humbles me. It is impossible for me to have any ego in situations like this. And the effects last, they are not just intense in the moment. It sticks with me. It's made me appreciate that everyone is going through something at all times. So why would we do anything but love them? 

I am still questioning my why, coming out of this experience. I can't stop thinking about it. My conclusion at this point in time? Stasis is an illusion. I am always getting closer or further from the person I want to be and the person I don't want to be. Means to an end? There is no end. I am never finished.

Final Time: 9:51:54